Sophrosyne

How do you want to live your life?

Regroup tour 2016 – Serendipity

It is no secret that I have been having a long bout of writer’s block after we relocated back to Australia. I always thought that if I took the time to return back to my home country Singapore, my answers will be there waiting for me. As fate would have it, the answers I got given are totally unexpected. But it met the final outcome I was seeking so here I am; raring to go again!!

 

So much has happened in the last few months, I got reminded again through the passing of my mother in law that this life we complain so much about and this body that we constantly abuse is never truly ours to keep. Everything is on loan. Once we truly embrace this, then we are free to explore who we want to become and live a life free of regrets. Not everyone wants to achieve greatness, some simply want to live a life of their choice. But I urge you to choose honestly. Be brave and unafraid, as a society we are too afraid of what others think of us. We think they care, but they don’t! Today’s news will become tomorrow’s bin liner. Stop living the life you think is expected of you! Live in such a manner that in your final moments, you can answer to yourself and be at peace with your decisions in life.

 

So, after settling my household, I set off to go back to where I used to live to ‘find myself’, thus naming the trip my regroup tour 2016. I was hoping to find the fire that used to burn in me, driving me to achieve my goals. Or rather I lost sight of what I wanted to do, so I sent out the search party. Ironically I lost things instead of finding, and it made me realised what my life goal should be (more on this in later posts).

 

To help you understand this gibberish a little better, here are some trip details. I was to meet with 2 friends in Singapore and the purpose was to spend some quality time with one of them who is terminally ill. In a nutshell, the intended outcome took on a different turn. The 2 of us now no longer talk to the friend we went to see. To many it is really sad, but like I said, life is short and one of the most important essence of a friendship is that nobody takes anybody for granted. We tried to turn things around but it takes 2 hands to clap. Do I still feel bad that things went askew? Not really, it doesn’t matter how long you live, it is how you live it. I am a strong believer of doing all there is in one’s power and leave the rest up to higher powers. I have done my part so no regrets.

 

I have learnt so much during these 14 days on my own, I cannot wait to share it all with you. I will trickle information through slowly, giving you time to digest and reflect; if need be, apply to your own lives.

 

So is there someone in your life that is constantly taking you for granted? Pluck up the courage to tell them. Many of us do that unconsciously. Telling them gives them a chance to fix things. I was reminded by a good friend many years ago. A good tight slap on my conscience’s cheek and from then on, I am much more conscientious about this. It is not a nice feeling to be taken for granted. So don’t accept it. There are friends who are more deserving of you. In the first place, if they won’t and don’t treasure, they do not deserve your affection.

 

there is a purpose

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Evidence of positive resonance even as Singapore mourns its loss

I just wanted to share an amazing phenomenon as I observe my fellow countrymen stand together as they mourn the loss of our former prime minister of Singapore Mr Lee Kwan Yew. Perhaps he is better known as the man who led a team to bring Singapore from a third world country to the first world country it is today within one generation.

What I have observed was only via social media as I currently reside in Australia. But I am truly moved and wanted to share with my course mates that very often, people stand together in moments of great loss and offer unparalleled compassion for each other. It is these moments of unexpected positive resonance that builds an incredible upward spiral.

So what am I talking about? Mr Lee is currently lying in state in the parliament house and people are allowed in to pay their respects 24 hours a day. Despite this, the queue to enter remains as long as 8 to 10 hours. I have watched video footage of it. People are not allowed to linger, they just get to walk by and yet the wait is so long. Needless to say, the queue snaked down streets and in front of shops and cafes. Here is where it all began, business owners started offering free supply of cold drinking water, bringing out chairs for the elderly. As more and more people started to observe these selfless acts, more joined in. It started with free drinks if you happen to be in front of the shops. Now there are random people who would bring food and drinks to those standing in line in front of the field just outside the parliament house. How amazing is that? The nation has suffered a great loss and this sense of loss has evoked an upward spiral of positive momentum. People are looking to help one another; perfect strangers that they would normally not even cast a second look on any other day. But during this week, they have reached out to each other, offering positive connection through their action and compassion for one another.

We have often assumed that positive connections only occur when one is in the ‘correct’ frame of mind. That is true in most cases because why would anyone want to be nice or even talk to another person if they are stressed and in a bad mood? But this is a very unique case where people are sharing a common loss and in their grief, they sought to offer each other comfort in the ways that they know how to. In this giving and taking, they are in fact offering each other support. And it is also these actions of giving and taking that has created the momentum and opportunity for upward spiral. For the giver, the reward was that they could offer comfort in their own way. For the receiver, the concern offered was the reward. Hopefully, the need to reciprocate would then keep the momentum going for a long time as the movement goes from one person to another. It was Mr Lee’s dream for Singapore for as long as I can remember; to build One Nation, One Singapore. What a great way to honour this amazing man and to continue his legacy.

Just wanted to share my perspective and observation on positive connections and how life offers us opportunities to reach out to others in unusual circumstances. It is then upon us to be aware of  the opportunities presented and grab them as they come.

 

lky

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Introducing ‘The Parenting Trap’

Hello everyone,

After almost one year of planning and writing, I am very proud to present to you my first parenting publication: ‘The Parenting Trap’! Instead of giving you a written summary of what the book is about, why don’t you click on the link below and hear me out?

http://nationalcriticschoice.blogspot.sg/2013/12/the-parenting-trap-by-karen-foote.html

I really hope that this book will help your through some difficult times as well as empower you to be the best parent that you can be!

 

Book launch 67

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Hello world! Are you Ready?

Mindfulness

The content of this website is not for the faint-hearted. If you are ready to embrace life, and truly live… You are at the right place. I do not proclaim to have all the answers, in fact, alot of the things that you are about to read may shock or disgust you. Or it may touch your heart. Of course I do not have all the answers! But I hope to open your mind and heart to the wonders around us that we have all taken for granted at one point or another.

Everyone is invited for the party, so feel free to comment on the posts. But only constructive information will be retained. The purpose of this website is to fulfill and enrich lives. If you have something good to share, by all means, do so. Hurtful and poisonous comments will not be tolerated!

And to ensure that you have a fun time, please open your heart, leave your ego and expectations behind.

Enjoy!

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