Sophrosyne

How do you want to live your life?

Getting rid of burden

For those of you who are not too familiar with the chinese culture; in 2 days time we get to celebrate the lunar New year; which means that we get a second chance to set of new goals for the new year and have another go at it.

I continue to emphasise on this point: Know who you real friends are, keep and nurture those with all the resources you can afford. As for the rest, drop them very quickly!

Quick guide to how to recognise your good friends:

It is not about how long you have known each other; it is how you bring out the best in each other. I realised this because I met some of the most amazing friends in the last 2 years. It was not a chore to be around them, in fact it was always great fun! All things aside, they should always make you feel good about yourself, there is no need for you to prove yourself to them. The acceptance is mutual and empowering.

The ones with a warning sign are the ones who constantly give you ‘constructive criticism’, which in fact is a guise to put you down. You feel that you cannot be yourself around them and have an urge to prove yourself to them that you are worthy of their friendship. In a nutshell, you are on eggshells in their presence. That is a pretty good giveaway that they are the ones you need to avoid.

You ask me: why do I keep harping on this ‘choosing the right friends’ topic? It is because over the years, I have learned that besides family, the friends that you spend time with have the greatest influence on you. If not for the wonderful friends I met in my lifetime, I will not be where I am, doing what I am doing right now. They love me for who I am, validating that I am good enough.

Having the right positive influence in one’s life is so important! That is why I continually post on this topic. I hope to empower my readers to choose the right friends and not to be afraid to let go of the ones who are hindering their growth. Needless to say, I have friends who seems to have my interests in mind and although some of them really believe that they do. I refuse to be in the company of people who needs to ‘fix me’. I need to be clear on one point, I am not so arrogant as to say that I am perfect and do not need to improve myself. I am simply saying good friends love you for your flaws. They know when to intervene, whenever they choose to tell you something, it is your personal growth they have in mind. That is different from those who are constantly trying to make you a better person. It is almost as if they bought a defective item so that they can work on it. Thus growing their own ego instead of growing you as a person.

So, I urge you to have a serious think about this topic, read this on pinterest:

“You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.”

 

letting go

No Comments »

Easier to build them from young

I have just began working at an organisation that works closely with at-risk adolescents. At-risk by their definition means that they have slipped through the cracks in Singapore’s education system either caused by family issues or various learning barriers. These 3 weeks have taught me a great deal. It has opened my eyes so clearly how much family support and influence can affect the future development of a child.

I daresay this to the parents out there; take the time to grow your children, it will be worth it! Everything you do can affect them in so many ways! Laziness and permissiveness is simply not an option! If you are a frequent visitor to my webpage, you should be well acquainted to my writing style. I usually allow my readers to think and make choices for themselves. But these 3 weeks have changed me. I am not saying that these children are beyond repair. I only meant to point out that it would be much easier to do the right thing by them right from the beginning. If you feel that you are not cut out to be a fabulous parent, you are wrong. All it takes is a little bit more effort on your side. The very least you can do is to find a role model for your child.

Take the time, it will be worth it. And remember, always do the right thing by them. It is not about how your friends view you as a parent. It is about making the best decision for your child. Of course I am not condemning parents who needs to be at work and have limited time with their children. You will be surprised how little it takes to maintain a child. Not with toys or branded goods. Think in terms of a child, not as an adult. Spend quality time with them whenever you can, take time to teach them moral values. Like I said, if you feel that you are unable to do a good job, then look around for a role model other than your domestic helper. Every ounce of effort you put in now will count towards that adult in the future. Whether or not he will respect himself and others depends so much on the actions you take today!

I apologise for being so pushy in this post. I cannot help but feel pain for these children. They did not ask to be brought into this world. For whatever reason they were, they were not taken care of as well as they should have been. But it is never too late. I met many people who contributed to who I am today. If not for what I had to go through when I was younger, I would not be who I am today. There is always 2 sides to a coin. I am just hoping to pass on this message, some of us are lucky enough to meet people who will inspire us and change our lives. But what about the ones who are not as lucky? Maybe….just maybe, it could have been avoided if proper loving guidance have been given while they were younger?

In case you don’t know where to start, begin here:

What children need most…Love, Respect, to have fun, to be seen, to be listened to, your presence, a hero, a fostered sense of wonder, lots of hugs, to play, the chance to make mistakes; encouragement to try again, room to grow dreams, to be told YES! to be trusted, affection, guidance.”

 

what children need

No Comments »