Sophrosyne

How do you want to live your life?

Shyness or Arrogance

on October 27, 2012

If I told my friends that my boisterous persona is a timid little mouse; I am sure they will all roll over laughing. I am shy by nature; I just act confident until I am actually comfortable. But there are occasions where I find it really hard to even act. During these situations, when people eventually get to know me, the most common comment was how arrogant I came across. Do recall that I just told you that I was shy; I did not mean to look disinterested or haughty.

Well, just to mention briefly that all of us have the capacity to learn to overcome shyness. There are certain techniques one can use to conceal shyness. I might write another post on it some other day but today’s theme is about how to give someone the benefit of a doubt.

I decided on this theme because of a recent experience that I had; I felt really shy and uncomfortable. Fortunately some of the people I met was nice enough to over look my resistance to engaging them. Since I can be on both sides of the coin (being the shy person or the one reaching out), I feel that I am able to give you a pretty clear view of how to read if someone was shy or arrogant.

A shy person will not be able to maintain eye contact when you look at them; needless to say, they will not return your smile. An arrogant person will hold eye contact a few seconds longer; they do not look away immediately, there is almost an air of lazy haughtiness. I have also observed in others and myself that shy people tend to look busy or preoccupied with something so that they do not have to engage with others. The arrogant person is simply disinterested.

I empathize deeply with people who are shy; therefore whenever I can, I do seek them out and try to help them get comfortable in the given circumstances. More often than not, you will also find that when you are able to reach in and take them out of their shell; you will find a jewel within. So, the next time you meet someone new or you are in an environment where you are already familiar with; why not take a moment of your time to make someone’s day? Go up to them, say hello and introduce them to your friends. You will be surprised how this little move can change someone’s day or even life! Everything we do have a chain reaction; some we can see immediately, others we cannot. But rest assured that every action have a consequence; you can choose for it to be a positive or negative one.

 


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