Sophrosyne

How do you want to live your life?

One Cause of Low self esteem

on November 29, 2012

Today’s post was inspired by an episode of Glee that I watched yesterday. I am not shy to admit that I am a huge fan of the sitcom. There are some truths in it, and due to its popularity, I hope the producers of the show are aware of the amount of power and influence they have over their audience. That discussion can be dealt with in detail on another day. For today, it is focused on one of the most common but easily overlooked cause of low self-esteem.

For those of you who are generally pretty happy with who you are but can have bouts of feeling lousy abut yourself; have you ever checked if there was a certain pattern in your behaviour? If not, then let’s do this exercise together; think back and recall the last few times when you felt really low and lousy about yourself. Granted, some of the causes could be: not getting work done on time, work not satisfactory, general low mood…Now, it is the last one that I need you to concentrate on, if your low self-esteem is directly related to work related issues, then the reason is obvious. I know it seems abit confusing, please stay with me on this one.

In most scenarios, people are either alone or with friends, right? Yes, you guessed it! How we feel about ourselves is greatly influenced by the people we hang around with. People have different temperaments and as a result, they affect us in different ways. This post may sound familiar; it is because I cannot emphasis enough how important it is to choose the right kind of people to be our friends!

My message for you today is this: take a look at the friends around you and critically consider how each of them contribute to your self-esteem. You will find that there will be a group who just wants to love you and think that you are the coolest being on earth; they make you feel so very special whenever you are with them. Those, needless to say are priceless. And then there is a group who feels that the role of a good friend is to be able to honest with you and point out your flaws whenever they are with you. Despite their good intentions, you feel less than average and usually end up feeling depressed after you catch up with them.

I am not saying ‘Don’t tell your friends anything negative’, then I will only be encouraging ‘happy times only’ friends. I am simply saying this: there is always a nicer way to point out someone’s issues and that you do not have to do it all the time. You want to have friends who can be honest with you when you need the truth or if you are going down a self-destructive path, they are strong enough to pull you out. But other times, they accept you for who you are with no need on their part to constantly remind you of what you are lacking. Truth friends are there for support. If they like to correct you so much, they are more like you corrections officer more than your friend.

Am I making sense to you or have I lost you completely? All I am hoping to get at is that our choice of friends can greatly affect self-esteem. Positive people will naturally make us feel happy. Although some friends may seem to have good intentions, we are not broken so there is no need to get fixed. Unless you have a particular need to be criticised constantly because over time no matter how constructive the criticisims are; it will began to erode our self-esteem. And before you know it, you feel worthless and depressed.

So, I urge you to take some time to think about the kind of friends you choose to keep and whether they build or break you. Then, think about yourself as a friend; which type are you? And which type would you like to be?

 

 

 


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