How do you want to live your life?

Showing our children how to choose friends

on August 26, 2015

I cannot even remember the last time I had something to write. The relocation back to Australia is still affecting me, and to be honest, I was surprised at how long it is actually taking me to get over it!

Lucky for me, I have a small group of great friends which I have gained over the last 40 odd years. No, I do not know them all for that long, some even as short as 4 years. That is the beauty of interpersonal chemistry; somehow you get one another and that’s that. You both have a wonderful synchrony that is cannot be simply put into words.

So, thankfully for these anchors, I am slowly gaining back my momentum to life. I also find that as I get older, I am more discerning about the time I spent with people. It is of utmost importance who they are and if they do not fulfil certain criteria,  I will reduce contact. I hear myself saying this a lot these days: ‘I’d rather be alone than be around people who does not make me feel good about myself.’ As you are reading this, I am sure there are a few people who came to mind. Whether or not you choose to keep that friendship is not the focal point of this post.

The purpose of this post is to teach our children how to make good choices in the friendship department. And how do we do that? Simply through examples. Our behaviour have such a huge impact on our children! If only more parents realise this. From what we choose to eat down to our mannerisms are passed down to our children via modelling. They copy what we do!

So, what did I do to pass on this important message to my kids? I tell them this:

Good friends :

  1. Will never put you down
  2. Will always be honest with you
  3. Will be happy for your success
  4. Makes you feel good when you are around them
  5. will always support one another
  6. will be there for each other no matter what happens
  7. brings out the best in each other
  8. will never say hurtful things to one another

Of course this is not an exhaustive list and different people will have different lists. But in a nutshell, great friends are people who truly knows you and yet still choose to hang around.  Most importantly, through mutual respect and acceptance, these friendships are so much fun. My kids have on various occasions witness my interactions with these friends and they have commented that I laugh a lot and seem to be having a great time whenever they come around. And my reply to this is, ‘That is the kind of people you want as your friends, you can laugh with them, you can share your secrets, and they bring out the best in you.’

So, the next time you have the chance to share some wisdom with your children, why not teach them how to increase the positivity in their lives by choosing great friends?



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